Google Maps has been an invaluable resource over the last few days, and today was no different. We were to meet at the Florrie, and the app showed that it was a bit of a long trek, so I grabbed a cab and told him where I wanted to go. The driver seemed a little surprised, perhaps out of towners don't often go to Toxteth, but after a quick check on Google, I confirmed that yes, it was THE Florrie, in Toxteth. I arrived and was ushered into a room, where I was told we were on lockdown for the time being. The room was a hive of activity, with people having their faces crudely painted as Day of the Dead skulls. I did feel I looked more panda like than skully, but everyone looked the same, so I just relaxed and watched everyone buzzing around.
me
The room was shushed, and a man going by the name of Toxteth Tommy told us the story of the Florrie building, I won't go into it because it's easily googleable, but it was fascinating, and I'm happy that the community of Toxteth have such an amazing resource on their doorstep. Then the back doors were opened and we spilled out into the lovely garden area, where a taxidermy badger stood, holding a gun, and a fan created Dalek sat with its owner, who invited us all to write things on it. I wrote 'What The Fuuk Is Going On?' because it was still not entirely clear. I knew we were going to see the Rites of Mu, but I had no idea what that meant, then we were going on a very long walk, ending at a club called the Invisible Wind Factory for the Graduation Ball.
Finally, we were ushered into a room upstairs. It was set out like a church, seats down either side of an aisle, and a stage at the front. The stage had three rectangular screens, like the ones in the teaser videos that the JAMs had released before the event. On each seat was a hymn sheet. I read the lyrics of the hymn inside and immediately recognised it as the KLF song 'Justified And Ancient', with slightly different lyrics. My heart lifted when I saw mention of a familiar name in the lyrics, but more of that in a minute...
Oliver Senton came onto the stage and introduced Welcome To The Dark Ages, a 23 minute video produced by the JAMs. It felt very familiar as it was a lengthier version of the promotional videos. When the video had finished, a couple named Claire and Rupert Callender came onstage. They introduced themselves as funeral celebrants, and announced that they would now be known as Callender, Callender, Cauty and Drummond, Undertakers to the Underworld. The JAMs are going into the funeral business! They explained their new service of Mumufication, inviting everyone to purchase an unfired brick with a hole in the middle, which would be filled with some of their ashes after cremation. Once a year, on the 23rd of November, the JAMs are to hold the Toxteth Day of the Dead, and the bricks would be used to create the People's Pyramid, a large sculpture somewhere in Toxteth (no planning consent yet...). The Callenders ended their part of the Rites with a hymn of simple lyrics 'Don't be afraid, you're already dead', repeated for 3 minutes. It felt strangely comforting, the whole room softly singing it over and over again, it was quite beautiful.
As the hymn drew to a close, the doors opened and the choir entered, accompanied by a large black and yellow banner, emblazoned with the words TOXTETH DAY OF THE DEAD. The choir were clad in the yellow KLF robes I have seen in so many photos, and always wanted to own. They arranged themselves on the stage and it was time for the second hymn, Justified and Ancient. A hooded figure walked onto stage and launched into the lyrics in a very familiar West Yorkshire brogue.
"They called me up in Sheffield Town, they said Jarvis, stand by the JAMs..." The room erupted into cheers as Jarvis Cocker removed his hood. He and the choir performed a beautiful rendition of the song, leading a procession out at the end, followed by the audience, all singing 'Mu Mu Land, Mu Mu Land, all bound for Mu Mu Land' until it faded away halfway down the stairs. It was the closest I will ever get to a religious epiphany, I'm absolutely certain.
Once the Rites were complete, the 400 congregated outside the Florrie. The Ice Kream Van was there, with ropes coming from the front bumper and two wooden Koffins in the rear. There were shopping trolleys full of buddleia and ragwort. My job was Ragwort Scatterer, and it had become clear that the Great Pull North was actually a Day of the Dead style parade, taking us from the Florrie to the Graduation, a total of just over 3 miles, which I wasn't looking forward to! I was right at the front of the parade, in front of a bagpipe band. The Ragwort and Buddleia Scatterers were carpeting the way to the funeral.
The Great Pull North began, taking us through Toxteth and down the Liverpool waterfront, past the Albert Dock and the famous Liver Building, past the Princes Dock and onwards to the Invisible Wind Factory. The Pull attracted the attention of the police at various points on the route, trying to stop us while we chanting 'KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING' and the stewards tried to placate the boys in blue time after time. Chants included BADGER BADGER BADGER, KULL KULL KULL, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? and, at one point we sang 'When the JAMs go marching in'. I relished my role at the front, throwing ragwort across the roads, leaving little yellow flowers on parked cars as we passed, then mincing around like Morrissey when we ran out of weeds to throw.
I was confused to find that we were lead onto a large swathe of wasteland until I spotted a 23 feet tall pyre. The Ice Kream Van pullers positioned the van close by as we surrounded the pyre. Koffin Bearers solemnly removed the Koffins from the van and installed them atop the pyre. Speculation was rife about the contents of the Koffins, everything from precious KLF artifacts to an actual human sacrifice. Oliver Senton tore off his shirt to reveal the word MU on his chest. He ranted and stomped around excitedly while the JAMs donned their horned headwear and took flaming torches to the pyre, setting it alight. Oliver announced that the Mu Bricks were now on sale. I'd met up with Seb again so we went over to the Ice Kream Van to find out what was happening. Unfortunately, my bank account had already taken a battering, so a Mu Brick, priced £99, was not purchased and we headed to the Invisible Wind Factory, where we would graduate and see the debut, and final, performance of the much hyped Badger Kull.
So THAT's what those stickers were about!
We had completed our Jobs, we had created art, we had come to a conclusion (of sorts) on why the JAMs burned a million quid and now it was time for Graduation. The Perch hadn't been caught, but rumour has it that Jimmy plucked a feather out of the Mersey and pronounced that this was now the Perch!
The Invisible Wind Factory is a nightclub after my own heart. It reminded me of the grungy rave warehouses I used to frequent when I was younger and wilder. The JAMs speakers were set up behind a table on a small stage, where Bill and Jimmy installed themselves with a big pile of graduation certificates. There was to be no formal presentation, we scrummed around the table while the JAMs signed one certificate after another. Some were signed Bill and Jimmy, others were signed Rock Man Rock and King Boy D, their KLF monikers. At the stroke of midnight, the music stopped and we were introduced to the band we had learned to love without ever seeing or hearing them, Badger Kull. One of my new friends, Becci, had worked tirelessly, fuelled by Red Bull, on the band's costumes and they had worked with Pete Wylie, former pop star with the band the Mighty Wah! on the song, Toxteth Day of the Dead.
Badger Kull took to the stage in their black and white costumes, decorated with black and yellow caution tape, and finished off with black and white masks and face paint. The four bass players strummed the same note for 3 minutes, occasionally yelling 'TOXTETH DAY, TOXTETH DAY, TOXTETH DAY OF THE DEAD'. It was so simple, as well as being pure genius. It's repetitive, bassy noise, combined with the constant strobe lights was probably a health risk, but it was nothing and everything like I hoped and expected.
My friend Amy had come from Manchester to join us outside the Florrie, so we danced the night away and got drunk with some of my newest friends, a perfect end to the most insane week I have ever experienced. The Dark Ages had ended, or had they begun? Nobody seemed to know, or care, the whole event had been fun from start to finish.
Many people had to leave after the graduation, but some of us made it, somewhat hungover, to the Dead Perch Lounge for the last time on Saturday morning. We were shown plans by the conceptual architect, Paul Sullivan, who has designed the People's Pyramid, made from the Mu Bricks as and when they were used. The project will potentially take decades, and it's sadly inevitable that the JAMs will probably never see its completion, but who knows what kind of event the Toxteth Day of the Dead will develop into?
I have a home to go to and a life to lead. And I'm taking the good luck wish of the JAMs with me. Oh yeah, and these 'unofficial' posters had been left outside the Dead Perch Lounge on Saturday morning...
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